Happenings at Hogwarts –a series of strange events
by the steph and ju apocolypse
Summary: a collection of crazy short stories inspired by the insanity that is school! NOT SLASH (yet)the rating may be a bit high for now but i can assure you that it will get even higher in the not to distant future! enjoy!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: None of the characters, names, places, song lyrics and anything else that is owned by big scary rich people with large even more scary lawyers does not belong to me (weep) obviously! Plez don't sue me I own nothing!

Summery: NOT SLASH! (…yet!) This is just a random little collection of FanFic-lets about those crazy things that sometimes happen to friends at school (except exaggerated for added hilarity)!

Happenings at Hogwarts – series of strange events 

Stairway Encounter

Harry was walking through the Entrance hall whistling a tuneless tune (A/N!), with Hermione twittering along behind him about something or another. He wasn't really sure what, not that he really cared. Though he was pretty sure it had something to do with homework, it usually did coming from Hermione.

He was in a very strange mood, and seemed, much to her skyrocketing annoyance, to be rather preoccupied and, to be frank, was completely bloody ignoring her.

Why the hell did people always do that? Shit, was she really that boring?

As she contemplated this they reached the bottom of the marble staircase and something very strange happened.

Suddenly Harry zoomed forward up the staircase in a swish of robes, knocking down about a hundred first years in the process, and charged full pelt into an equally enthusiastic Ron.

'Harrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy!'

'Rooooooooooooooooooooon!'

'HarryHarryHarryHarryHarryHarryHarryHarry!'

'RonRonRonRonRonRonRonRonRonRonRon!'

They called in unison. Jumping up and down and clapping their hands, in what could only be completely random and uncalled-for bursts of immense joy, they rushed into a bone-breaking hug!

Then just as suddenly, as though realising what they were doing, they sprung apart, Harry falling down a couple of steps. Each brushed invisible speaks of dirt from their robes and avoided each other's gaze. Ron's cheeks glowed the colour (A/N: We're English and that is how we spell colour so ner!) of sun-dried tomatoes. It was a look that really didn't suit him. Harry coughed nervously and hopped from foot to foot still avoiding Ron's gaze!

'Hi Harry,' Ron mumbled.

'Hey Ron. So… what's up?' Harry replied quietly.

'Oh… I was just going to nick some food from the kitchens.' Ron mumbled to Harry's knees.

'Okay, see yer later,'

'Yep, bye'

They both shuffled off nervously in separate directions, each blushing scarlet and finding the most interesting things around to be their shoes.

Hermione, standing at the bottom of the stairs watching this strange turn of events, lifted an eyebrow. Well that was new; I'm pretty sure that's never happened before! She thought to herself. Then she followed Harry up to the Gryffindor tower, all thoughts of being boring long forgotten…

So what'd you think? Please review, flames are welcome we use them to heat our house and cook our breakfast! Though don't be too brutal as this is our first ever FanFic (not that that is really an excuse for rubbish-ness!) If you like it we will add more, if you don't we'll update anyway so there… It doesn't really matter to us:-)


	2. Breakfast

Disclaimer: I am obviously not the awe-inspiring JKR or this would be printed and make me MILLIONS! Instead of being put on this amazing site and hoping for some sympathetic/lost/concussed/ soul to read it. So in conclusion I still own nothing, so sue me! (Sticks tongue out and blows raspberries!) On second thoughts please don't (whimpers pathetically).

Summery: NOT SLASH! (…Yet!) This is just a random little collection of FanFic-lets about those crazy things that sometimes happen to friends at school (except exaggerated for added hilarity)!

Happenings at Hogwarts – a series of strange events

Breakfast 

It was a lovely, sunny, Tuesday morning. The birds were singing, the ghosts were dancing and the sun was glaring down from the sky, bright blue speckled with little fluffy white clouds, that was the ceiling of the Great hall. This, along with the warm rays filtering though the stained glass windows and the slightly off key, yet cheery and uplifting singing of Professor McGonagal: had resulted in nearly everyone in the Hall eating their breakfast with the aid of sun glasses or caps. And in some extreme cases even the odd pair of earmuffs could be seen sticking out from under the hair of certain students.

Everyone's (Ok not everyone's, but the vast majority of the wizarding population) favourite angst ridden, teenaged, hero, Harry Potter; was sat at the Gryfindor table with his friends eating a huge, greasy fried egg and ketchup butty! He was currently listening to another of Hermione's looong speeches about something or other whilst runny egg dripped down his chin.

Fifteen minutes later he had finished his egg butty and had moved onto a Spanish omelette which he had eaten half of and dropped the rest on the floor. And Hermione was still in full flow.

'… I just don't understand how anyone would think that that was acceptable in today's society. I mean, they always go on about being modern and open minded yet they can't seem to be able accept a simple little thing like that…'

She was talking so fast that he was surprise that she hadn't passed out from lack of oxygen. Harry had tried to keep up with her train of thought for a full 46.2756459 seconds but anything beyond that went straight over his head. He was now using all his will power not to simple self-combust out of boredom. Or do the less extreme and crawl under the table.

He decided that the best thing to do to keep himself sane would be to tap a tune with his knife and fork. He was soon tapping away at the plate and table to the rhythm or the song 'Warning' by his favourite band Green Day.

'Dumdum dumdum, dumdum dumdum, dumdum dumdum, dumdum dumdum… Warning, live without warning! Dumdum dumdum, dumdum dumdum, dumdum dumdum, dumdum dumdum…'

Soon every head in the hall was turned toward him, though being harry he remained completely oblivious and carried on. The whole hall had gone deathly silent apart from Hermione's ramblings and Harry's tapping.

To cover the now awkward silence Dumbledore started to tap along in time adding to Harry's tune. Pretty soon hundreds of people had joined in and there was a proper song in full swing. Singing and all. If any muggle had passed at that precise moment they would have thought that they were just meters away from a live performance from Stomp. That, or a small earthquake.

Everyone enjoyed it so much that lessons were cancelled and the festivities went on all day. In fact it was so good that Dumbledore made arrangements for a new music teacher to start at Hogwarts the very next day and every pupil would get at least one music lesson a week.

The simging, dancing and (for some reason unknown to anyone but filch) juggling, finally finished at 2:30 the next morning. At this time Snape had finally snapped and sent a stunning spell at the headmaster. As they went to bed everyone except Hermione was talking about what a great time they had had and that they should definitely do that more often! Hermione, to everyone save Harry's, surprise was still talking animatedly about the same fascinating subject as earlier that morning. She seemed not to have noticed any thing out of the ordinary. In fact she had not commented on them not going to lessons. How peculiar!

A/N: hoped you liked it, though not to bothered if you don't. Please review.

Nobody reviewed last time : ( and if that happens this time I don't think I'll bother to update ever again. In fact I think I shall just go and cry in the corner!


End file.
